The Trouble With Being A Creative Perfectionist (and Other Self Inflicted Diseases): A Journal – Entry One

Posted in Creativity, Journal by collinevan on May 4, 2008

Starting What You Can’t Finish.

Even yet this entry is exactly what I mean. I have enough disconnected thoughts in my head that somehow make me think they belong together… I would likely spend a good hour or so making them link up and convincing my logical half that it was worth the time.

What’s likely to happen is that I’ll get 20 minutes into it and then have creative inspirations that seem worthy enough to jot down. Jotting turns to writing, writing to pontification, and ultimately culminating in a loss of task so clean cut, I may as well have changed my ideas and perspectives on previous creative matters.

My imagination stands face to face with me in an all out war sometimes. It’s like he stops in front of me, shows me the weapons he’s going to use against me with a smile on his face, and kindly… patiently waits for me to prepare my misplaced ideas and thoughts to defend against his onslaught.

I rarely win though…

I often freely yield to my imagination. Then I get convinced that our collaboration is simply so good that I don’t know why I was even warring in the first place.

Then the war becomes more like a 7th grade drama. Then I go to all my friends and gossip about what happened so I can get fuel to justify my positioning. My friends, Logic, Reason, Financial Obligation, and Social Pressure all ring in and shove their very staunch and unwavering opinions on me.

Ultimately, it’s futile because Imagination is just too clever. He charms me. So, it’s a never ending record. I understand my reasonable sides and try to fight my imagination. He’s so full of variable ideas and ways to see the world, I feel like it’s a bunch of pretty flashing lights I can’t stay away from.

It’s no wonder I have a hard time finishing things.

I’m not going to edit this… I have other things I want to work on.